Ten years ago this morning the phone rang. My then-fiancé knew the news would not be good, as phone calls at 6am never are. It was my best friend urging me to turn on my TV. Her words didn’t really register, but the images on the television told the story.

On that day, this day was unimaginable. On that day, I witnessed my now-husband’s fury unleashed as his sense of having been personally attacked came to full force. I retreated from image after image of the towers falling – the carnage was too much to bear. I prayed as I crossed the Bay Bridge to see my mother, hoping that the violence of the day was over and that I would not be harmed as I drove an endless seven mile span.

My mom and I purchased my veil that day – a surreal act, but my wedding was only 11 days away. We went to sit with friends. The evening newscast had moved on to showing people jumping off the top of the tower hand in hand. For some reason, this was harder to hear in Spanish. There is something in the reflexive verb tirarse that was more painful and intentional and violent than the English – as if to jump off could simply be done on a sunny day, tirarse feels like the way one handles garbage, not the stunning act of those who chose flight over the flames.

On this day, I awoke to my five year old climbing in bed for a snuggly hour of peaceful sleep. She is too young to understand these events and we have had enough family tragedies in the intervening years for me to want to try. On this day, I leave it to those more eloquent than I to craft the words that children can understand, and to offer the blessings and unity of divine purpose that only people of faith can help us all to remember.

This past decade has transformed us all in every possible way. My husband and I will be celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary in 11 days, and the growth of our family and our life together continues to deepen and evolve. On that day, this quiet day of children laughing and playing was unimaginable, but here they are, dancing at our feet, and I am grateful.