Gabrielle Giffords is still in critical condition, although there are some reports that she has regained consciousness.. A crazy young man shot her and 17 other people, killing at least 5 of them last time I checked. One of the dead is a 9 year old girl. I have been listening to this story unfold. I can’t look away from it. I am horrified that this congresswoman was shot at close range, in her home state in front of a grocery store while she was doing her job.

At one point today, I sat in my car listening to the radio outside of Safeway. My four year old was sitting in the back seat, playing her Leapster and I just started to cry. For me, this act was personal. It hit home. Gabrielle Giffords was one of twenty congresspeople targeted, literally, by Sarah Palin’s PAC. She, along with other Democrats who voted for healthcare reform, was placed in the crosshairs on takebackthe20.com. Giffords was even on record expressing concern about the safety of herself and her colleagues after this page launched.

In July a crazy man was headed to my office to lie in wait and exact revenge for the workers who died in the BP oil spill by shooting 14 people who work with me. He too, was a lone gunman. He had heard about my organization through Glenn Beck. He was driving erratically on the highway and was intercepted by the California Highway Patrol in a 12 minute gun battle on highway 580. I thanked God again today for those officers. But the fear and the frustration and the panic of what could have been resurfaced for me today.

Gabrielle Giffords was doing her job. She was at a Safeway taking advantage of an opportunity to meet with her constituents and learn about their concerns. Had things turned out differently, I would have been walking into my office on a Monday morning when Byron Williams opened fire – today, my girls could be motherless. That is my enduring nightmare. One moment you are doing your job, simply trying to do the best you can by your family. The next moment is your last. This is not the promise of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This is not a healthy democracy where ideas can be debated.

When I step back from my incredibly emotional ledge, I can recognize that we do not yet have all the facts. I am aware that Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck did not plot directly with these men to do harm. But don’t they, as public figures, have some responsibility for the words and images they promote? Do they take a moment’s pause when something like this happens to reflect on whether or not they had a role in causing harm?

I am a project manager. When I screw up a project I manage, I am accountable to my boss and my organization. Who are Palin and Beck accountable to? Do they bear any responsibility for the words and images they promote? What happens to our discourse when we choose the language of violence to make a point or tackle a complex social issue? How are we all harmed by reductive language and emotional, tribal politics more interested in power and the next election than in finding solutions that can help to lift us all?

There is a lot of conversation about the quality of our political discourse right now. It can be tempting to imagine that this means we all have to agree. But the real challenge is to learn to disagree; to make sure that we debate ideas and do not attack people; to start our conversations with the notion that the “other side” has the same goals in mind, the betterment of our country and our lives, and that we often see different paths to achieving this goal. Don’t we know that we are all in this together?